There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
