remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
