I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
