It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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