38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
