my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
