he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
