This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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