I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
