Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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