Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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