How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
