and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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