Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry gaborj hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(214): View more from Texas

Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,

Fav 6 3601 954
share tweet
(931): View more from Tennessee

My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.

Fav 10 5428 1186
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(+44): View more from United Kingdom

The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...

Fav 5 1024 2431
share tweet
(773): View more from Illinois

Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???

(773): View more from Illinois

Found 2 Coors, problem solved.

Fav 11 2013 758
share tweet
(859): View more from Kentucky

So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.

Fav 14 1126 1748
share tweet
(206): View more from Washington

I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole

Fav 2 908 528
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(612): View more from Minnesota

Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something

Fav 2 775 562
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(919): View more from North Carolina

Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.

Fav 1 527 391
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(860): View more from Connecticut

He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that

Fav 0 90 5
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT