I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
