Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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