It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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