It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
