They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
