i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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