So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
