The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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