Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
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