you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
