literally had 100 drinks last night.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
