If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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