Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
