; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i just had sex bonerless
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
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im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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