Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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