Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
