If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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