just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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