I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
