I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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