My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?