But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
