The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
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