Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
We have so much sex to catch up on
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
