And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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