do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
