It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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