Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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