Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
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I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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