Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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