sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
