She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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