i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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