dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
