This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
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They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
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Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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