i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
