I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Enjoy the penises
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
