I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
