I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
