i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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