just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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