Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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