i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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