this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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