Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
