Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
