Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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