My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
