If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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