We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
