I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
