Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Randomize
