I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
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