Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
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